Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
