we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I think I sprained my soul last night
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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