so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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