we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
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