After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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