Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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