I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
