He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
