so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
