I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
