For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
