He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
You can't just leave with hair like that
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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