Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
