Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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