Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
