yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
