That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
