At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
