I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Dignity is for republicans.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
