i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
