Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
