yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
