I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
