I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
