i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
