That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Shame is for Republicans.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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