I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
