so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
ok first of all what the fuck
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
