my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
