i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
