i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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