so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Randomize
