I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
