so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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