Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
