Pappa wants mamma naked
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
