I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
