I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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