I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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