Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
only you would photoshop your dick
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
