I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
