Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Who died my cat blue again?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
