is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize