...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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