it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
