peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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