I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
