I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
