i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
