I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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