Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Damn victory sex feels great
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
All the doctor said was why
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
