We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
